25 January 2006

'Who's On First' - new version

[With apologies to those who don't remember the George Burns and Gracie Allen show, or Bud Abbot and Lou Costello.]

George:   Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi:   Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George:   Great. Lay it on me.

Condi:   Hu is the new leader of China.

George:   That's what I want to know.

Condi:   That's what I'm telling you.

George:   That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi:   Yes.

George:   I mean the fellow's name.

Condi:   Hu.

George:  The guy in China.

Condi:   Hu.

George:   The new leader of China.

Condi:   Hu.

George:   The main man in China!

Condi:   Hu is leading China.

George:   Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi:   I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.

George:   Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi:   That's the man's name.

George:   That's who's name?

Condi:   Yes.

George:  Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir?! Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was dead in the Middle East.

Condi:   That's correct.

George:   Then who is in China?

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir is in China?

Condi:   No, sir.

George:   Then who is?

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir?

Condi:   No, sir.

George:   Look Condi, I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi:   Kofi?

George:   No, thanks.

Condi:   You want Kofi?

George:   No.

Condi:   You don't want Kofi.

George:   No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi:   Kofi?

George:   I said Milk! And will you please make that call?

Condi:   And call who?

George:   Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi:   Hu is the guy in China.

George:   Will you please stay out of China!

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi:   Kofi.

George: Oh, all right! With cream and two sugars.

[Thanks to Bill Jones, Noel Glennon, and the original author.]

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