29 November 2006

What They Didn't Say

Play it again, Sam is the classic much-used phrase which is in fact a misquotation. What Ingrid Bergman actually says to Dooley Wilson in Casablanca is Play it, Sam. Play As Time Goes By. And Humphrey Bogart later demonstrating his emotional stoicism, says If she can stand it, I can. Play it. But for general circulation the misquotation has stuck. This is a compendium of well-known sayings, phrases, and quotations which are all inaccurate representations of the original. They get changed, mangled, and abbreviated for all sorts of reasons - and in many cases the later version completely obliterates the original. Sometimes they are what people mistakenly think or wish what somebody had said. What causes this to happen? Well, on seeing all these examples brought together, the answer appears to be that the misquotations are all slicker, more rounded and memorable than the originals. One example after another illustrates this point.

During the afternoon of 11 September, Jo Moore, a British government advisor, wrote a memo saying ' It is now a very good day to get out anything we want to bury'. But it's the much pithier a good day to bury bad news which has entered common language. Similarly, Harold Macmillan only ever mentioned 'the opposition of events', but the more memorable yet completely invented phrase Events, dear boy, events has been attributed to him, and it has stuck.

Charles Boyer never said Come with me to the Casbah (in fact he said the rumour had hampered his career); James Callaghan never said Crisis? What crisis?" (it was the Sun wot did it); and Sherlock Holmes never said Elementary, my dear Watson.

You can see from the examples that there's a tendency towards poetic repetition, parallel phrases, syntactic inversion. Mae West actually said Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me? - but it is most often quoted as pistol.

And not all are misquotations, so much as complete fabrications. When working on the Times in the 1930s, Claude Cockburn claimed to have written the dullest headline ever: Small earthquake in Chile. Not many dead. But no such entry has ever been traced.

So - good fun and clarification all around. And a salutary lesson that we need to take care if invoking these expressions whose origins seem so assured. This book has appeared just in time for the Xmas market, and it will make an excellent present for anyone who is interested in language and how it is used - and misued.


What They Didn't Say: a Book of Misquotations, Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2006, pp.153, ISBN 0199203598

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25 November 2006

TV - It's not cricket

The bloody Test Match displaced News Night Review on television last night. So whilst soothing my outrage with a couple of extra glasses, I decided to watch the program. Crikey! The video editing is so tight, you'd imagine that cricket was a high speed game played at breakneck speed, instead of the boring plod it is. And you'd swear from the BBC's presentation of events that the Brits were knocking seven colours of shit out of the Aussies - yet I note from the actual score sheet that the reverse was happening. The players and their supporters behave just as yobbishly as at any football match. Do these people have no sense of style at all? And what's with all this face painting business? If they are claiming it’s protection against the sun, why is it applied in such a way that makes them look like a cross between Navaho warriors and Adam Ant? It passed half an hour whilst I was waiting for the creepy Jules Holland, but his selection of bands was so abysmal, I ended up getting an early night in bed. Thanks chaps!

24 November 2006

Hip Hotels: New York

Who would have thought that books on architecture and interior design would suddenly become fashionable. But that's what's happened with this Hip Hotels series, which made a big impact when it first appeared a couple of years ago. What are Hip Hotels? Well, Herbert Ypma defines them as Highly Individual Places, but I think it's a bit more than that - because even traditional hotels can be individual. The selection he shows (and he claims to have stayed in them) are all very modern, usually minimalist, and the emphasis throughout is that they are located in very fashionable parts of the city - even if that means you're in the Meatpacking District. But he covers other parts of the city too - from the Lower East to the Upper West Side, with Tribeca, SoHo, Midtown, and Times Square in between.

The common features of most examples are dark brown modernist furniture, exposed brick or granite, soft downlighting, stainless steel bathroom fittings, no pictures, decorations, or knickknacks of any kind, a lot of square, black leather chairs and settees, and of course some stupendous views over the city's roofscapes.

You get an eight page spread on each location. It goes almost without saying (these days) that the photography is of superb quality, and there are full contact and location details for each hotel - so you can phone in or log onto their web sites and book a room if you wish.

And it's not just pretty pictures. He's obviously well informed on the practical issues of architecture: he gives details of the planning permission, zoning regulations, and the acquisition of 'air rights' necessary for these largely high-rise buildings. He's also good on the way in which the districts have changed their nature - turning from manufacturing to arts and fashion centres within a couple of generations.

These publications are normally big expensive coffee table books, but for this series they have been reduced in size to a more easily portable format. You lose some of the visual expansiveness of the originals, but Thames and Hudson call it their 'travel format'. I suppose the idea is that you could take them along on your cultural pilgrimage. However, I should warn you, before you get too excited, that most of these places charge $300-plus minimum per night. Buy the book instead. It's twenty-five times cheaper.


Herbert Ypma, Hip Hotels: New York, London: Thames & Hudson, 2006, pp.192, ISBN 0500286183

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22 November 2006

Penguin by Design

If you're interested in typography, graphic design, bibliography, collecting books, or just cultural nostalgia, this book is an absolute treat. It's a beautifully illustrated history of the cover designs used for the Penguin imprint from its creation in 1935 to the present. Penguins were first sold for sixpence (2.5p) which was the price of a packet of ten cigarettes. That's cheap by today's standards when ten fags cost £2.70 but a typical Penguin costs twice that. Right from the start, Penguins were marketed via the elegance and consistency of their cover designs, with their easily recognisable orange covers and their perky logo. And it's no accident that Penguin was (and still is) such a successful imprint. Its founder Allen Lane employed some of the most gifted graphic designers and typographists of the day.

Cover designs changed subtly to keep up with modern fashion, and even the famous penguin logo itself has changed shape, size, and even posture during its seventy year lifespan. It also morphed into the puffin for children and the pelican for the non-fiction series, the best-seller of which my father once urged on to me as a birthday present. Metals in the Service of Man was my bedtime reading as a child - which might explain a lot.

In the 1930s there were lots of polemical titles - not unlike Gollancz's Left Book Club - and there were also lots of special ventures which are well presented here - children's books during the war, American titles shortly after it, and books on art in the lead up to the Festival of Britain.

Jan Tschichold helped to bring the cover designs into the post-war world. He worked on the covers for a couple of years, but his attention to small details and his tight, conservative designs established a convention via a house style manual Penguin Composition Rules, which was a precursor to his essays in The Form of the Book.

The book is elegantly designed, set in Adobe Sabon and Monotype Gill Sans Display Bold, and laid out in what are largely double-page spreads. In addition to fiction, Penguin titles covered poetry, science, current affairs, architecture, the history of art, and even music scores - though these were dropped because they didn't make enough money. The same was true of Pevsner's famous Buildings of England, despite the fact that he waived his royalty payments.

Anyone who has been closely associated with the world of books during the last fifty years will feel that reading this book is like watching a moving picture of their own intellectual history. What's more, it is difficult to imagine anybody not being overcome with an almost overwhelming desire to start their own collection - something quite easy with second-hand copies available for pennies in charity shops and online bookstores. And if you want to see an online gallery of cover designs, have a look at the collection Joe Kral has started in his picture collection at Flickr.

Phil Baines also traces the history progression of Penguin's modern designers - Germano Facetti, Romek Marber, Alan Aldridge, and David Pelham, revealing en passant that all was not necessarily sweetness and light in the offices where design policies were made.

It is interesting to note that most of the designs look more attractive when viewed in groups - because this emphasises the unity of design, the form of the page, and the texture of patterns - such as the wallpapers and fabrics used in the poetry series.

There are some weak patches in the 1970s and 1980s, and I don't think many of the current fiction cover designs will be remembered affectionately. But the downward trend has been reversed in two recent series: the reference books with their rounded corners, and the classics, which feature black covers and centred titles. In both cases there has been a return to two key elements of the classic Penguin: the horizontal division of the cover page into three distinct bands; and the reintroduction of the plucky little penguin itself - which had almost been sent to extinction in the previous decade.


Phil Baines, Cover by Design , London: Penguin, 2006, pp.256, ISBN 0713998393

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16 November 2006

Natural Selection — Gary Giddins

'A critic,' Philip Larkin once declared, 'is a man who likes some things and dislikes others, and finds reasons for doing so and for trying to persuade other people to do so.' Gary Giddins has been doing this for many years. In several collections of jazz journalism (including the recent Weather Bird) Giddins has conveyed his enthusiasm for and devotion to the music and its practitioners. This latest book includes pieces on jazz, but also illuminating essays on silent movies, film noir, TV shows, DVD and CD releases, Norman Mailer, Ralph Ellison, Classics Illustrated, Friedrich Durrenmatt and the Jewish novelist Soma Morgenstern. Giddins' firm conviction is that

jazz and film have much in common, beyond parallel births, changing technologies, and competing bids as America's pre-eminent cultural love child. They are resolutely manipulative arts. Music continuously mines emotional responses; movies are structured around emotional releases, whether musical, comic, tear-jerking, shocking, pornographic, or suspenseful. Musical works and movies usually exist in concise units of time, their effectiveness dependent on tempo, rhythm, contrast, style, and interaction.

He proceeds to apply this apercu to (among others) Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Jack Benny, Bob Hope, Jerry Lewis and the Marx Brothers. Chaplin he suggests 'ruined numerous comedians who wanted our tears but didn't possess his equilibrium (Jerry Lewis, Jackie Gleason, Steve Martin, Robin Williams, and Billy Crystal for starters'). The Marx Brothers 'were grown-ups pretending to be children, pretending to be grown-ups.'

Jerry Lewis ('Idiot Semi-Savant') might be adored by the French, but they are mercifully unaware of 'the sanctimonious talking head who sapped the affection of a generation with horrific television appearances.' Bob Hope, a comic movie actor to be taken seriously, became dated as a glib and increasingly unfunny comedian, 'increasingly sanctified as the rich, conformist, golfing buddy of every White House duffer.' Jack Benny (not widely known in Europe, but a household name in America) 'may be the only great comedian in history who isn't associated with a single witticism'.

Various iconic screen stars receive their succinct dues. Greta Garbo 'reminds us that the cinema is the ultimate expression of voyeurism: her close-ups are her money shots'. A young Marlon Brando 'gave American actors new modes of being racked with ambiguities'. Of the latter-day Brando, Giddins asks: 'Excepting Orson Welles, has any other actor cloistered himself in so much fat?'

Bing Crosby (Giddins is his biographer) 'is the most conspicuously neglected of the Golden Age of Hollywood stars'. So far, so good, but the critical faculty seems alarmingly absent from Giddins’s claim that Doris Day ('Blond and Beaming'), was 'The coolest and sexiest female singer to achieve movie-musical stardom'. Moreover, many of the film/DVD reviews collected here are bogged down in often tedious technical detail.

Not surprisingly, Giddins is at his considerable best in jazz reviews - which include refreshing reassessments of Glenn Miller, and Billie Holiday. Miller has long been dismissed by critics as 'a humourless purveyor of diluted swing, banal novelties and saccharine vocals' but is now being celebrated as the creator of 'a sound that clings remorselessly to the collective memory.'

Both Miller (and Fats Waller) 'humble critical stereotypes and show ways that jazz and pop once enriched each other, and might still'. But reviewing The New Grove Dictionary of American Music, Giddins finds it almost totally worthless, with entries on jazz - 'which one might argue is the essence of American music' - only found after much searching.

Elsewhere, he suggests that 'there is a correct way to sing Cole Porter, much as there is a correct way to act Shakespeare' and commends Fred Astaire, Frank Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney and Ella Fitzgerald as 'accomplished Porterphiles'. Giddins confesses to be a life-long admirer of Duke Ellington. 'People often describe their first time with Duke Ellington in terms of losing their virginity, and for me it seemed like the next best thing'.

In an excellent piece on 'Jazz for the Eyes' (The Sound of Jazz/Jazz on a Summer's Day), Giddins writes of Lester Young's single-chorus, 39-second tenor solo on the TV (not studio) version of Fine and Mellow, that it is 'so sublimely constructed that after you've heard it a couple of times, it becomes part of your nervous system, like the motor skills required to ride a bicycle'. As for the vocalist on this number, Billie Holliday: 'if it is possible for two people to make love while one partner is playing the tenor saxophone 10 feet away from the other, that is what Young and Holliday were doing.' And 'Billie’s pantomime of pure pleasure embodied a sensual appreciation of the music in a way no actor has ever succeeded in doing'.

Jazz on a Summer's Day also had its share of 'indelible jazz images: Anita O’Day 'in a feathered hat and black sheath dress with white fringes, thrusting her glottis at Sweet Georgia Brown'; trombonist Jack Teagarden 'grinning as though he'd crashed an unexpected party while Chuck Berry rocks Sweet Little Sixteen', and Louis Armstrong recounting his unlikely answer to the Pope, when asked if he had children - 'No, Daddy, but we're still wailing'.

Giddins is particularly mischievous at posing and then answering questions. One example must suffice. In a review of the movie White Palace, Giddins ponders the prevalence of oral sex in recent films and asks: 'What's with all these blowjobs?' His answer: 'They represent Hollywood's latest code for breaking the ice, for reaching out and touching someone, for initiating a sincere and meaningful relationship. No more kissing on the mouth, no more 'What was your major?' Just cut to the fly, followed by a shot of an actor faking instantaneous ecstasy.' Partly autobiographical, Natural Selection is also an artful work of 'intelligent design'. Giddins persuades us to revisit some of the movies and books, and all of the jazz performances he so obviously enjoyed reviewing - and sharing.

© John White 2006


Gary Giddins, Natural Selection: Gary Giddins on Comedy, Film, Music, & Books, Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2006, pp.432 , ISBN 019517951X

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14 November 2006

TittyBangBang! - They're back!

The BBC have given it no publicity, and they make it damned hard to find in their listings - but TittyBangBang! is back for a second series on BBC 3. It features some of the same characters - the twitching darters, surgically enhanced Maxine Bendix, Pete Wade (who has a new job as an estate agent), and the Italian lady ("Don't look at me! I'm shyyyyyyyyyyy!"). But the most inspired is an amazing impersonation of Tom Cruise by Lucy Montgomery. How does she do it? Prosthetic help maybe - but her acting skills are just awe inspiring. It doesn't have the novelty value of the first series, but I for one will be watching every episode. Which you can do on line - here:

TittyBangBang!

12 November 2006

Leonard Woolf: An Autobiography

Leonard Woolf is probably best known as the husband of Virginia Woolf, but in fact he had a remarkable life and set of achievements quite apart from his wife. He was a political activist and one of the founders of the League of Nations (which became the United Nations); he was a novelist and a journalist; and throughout the whole of his adult life he was a professional publisher, in charge of the very successful Hogarth Press, which he founded. The first volume of his autobiography deals with his childhood in a prosperous upper middle-class Jewish family and his early memories of growing up in late Victorian London, then his intellectual flowering when he went to Cambridge. The are some wonderful character sketches of his contemporaries, who became luminaries of the Bloomsbury Group, including Saxon Sydney Turner, Lytton Strachey, and Clive Bell. You also get full details of all the property leases and house buyings of this group as it established its regular system of one place in town and another in the countryside.

Some of his more inspired passages are his tirades against mysticism, religious belief, and any surrender to irrationalism. He has a seductively convincing underpinning to his philosophic position that Nothing matters, which he interprets in a non-passive manner - no doubt his own brand of Moore's ethics, which he absorbed at Cambridge along with the rest of the Apostles.

Occasionally he's quite humorous, and he is certainly a humane, rational, and honest man; yet he seems slightly naive in claiming that money is not really important - a claim contradicted by his obsessive habit of listing every penny he spent and earned throughout his fife. But these are minor human inconsistencies.

The next part (a whole volume in its original publication) deals with a part of his life of which most literary enthusiasts know nothing - his work as a colonial administrator in Ceylon. These pages include scenes you would not normally associate with this pillar of Bloomsbury: supervising floggings and executions; eliminating outbreaks of rinderpest; trekking through jungles; and issuing certificates for celebrity big game hunters.

He comes across as a thoroughly decent, intelligent, hard-working man, with a particularly sharp eye for the underdog and a love of animals which makes him an animal liberationist before his time. His experiences in Ceylon made him increasingly anti-imperialist, so he quit the service in 1911 and married Virginia Woolf instead.

He lived an astonishingly rich and varied life post 1912 - engagement with the co-operative movement, a gradual shift to the Left in political terms, and friendships with all the leading literary and political figures of the day - H.G.Wells, G.B.Shaw, Bertrand Russell, Ramsay MacDonald, and T.S.Eliot. There are also sustained portraits of Ottoline Morrell, Isobel Colefax, Sigmund Freud (whose complete works he published) and Ramsay MacDonald. He also provides an impassioned account of the political dark years of the 1930s.

Politically, he was a left-wing realist. He served on endless committees, fighting for causes in which he believed. Yet he realised that the people amongst whom he worked, and the mechanisms they pursued, were deadly boring. Unlike many fellow travellers of the inter-war years, he was also well aware that the communists (in Soviet terms) killed more people than they helped or saved.

He's very revealing on the mechanics of running a small independent publishing company, and he presents the profits and balance sheets of the Hogarth Press with the very conscious aim of revealing what most other writers talk about but never confess - how much they make from their writing.

In the last part of his memoir, written when he was eighty-five, it has to be said that he rambles quite a lot, and goes over ground he has already covered earlier. But this does help to reinforce the tremendous variety in his life. He felt that all his political efforts amounted to nothing, and that the Hogarth Press had been successful because it had been kept small scale and independent. He's probably a bit too hard on himself politically, and anybody with a CV half as long could hold their head up high.

However, this is not a memoir full of gossip or personal revelation. You would never know from this that his wife fell in love with another woman, or that he had a largely sexless relationship with her. Nor would you ever guess that for the last thirty years of his life he shared the wife of his business associate on a weekend-weekday basis.

As an autobiography, it's long overdue for a reissue, but in the meantime, the two volume Oxford Paperbacks edition offers the full text with good indexes. Leonard Woolf went up in my estimation as a result of reading this memoir, and I am looking forward now to both his collected leters, and in particular to the letters he exchanged on almost a daily basis with his lover Trekkie Parsons.


Leonard Woolf, An Autobiography: 1880-1911 v. 1, Oxford: Oxford Paperbacks, 1980, pp.320, ISBN 0192812890

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Leonard Woolf, An Autobiography: 1911-1969 v. 2, Oxford: Oxford Paperbacks, 1980, pp.536, ISBN 0192812904

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03 November 2006

Talk to the Hand - Lynne Truss strikes again

Lynne Truss must surely be one of the next participants lined up ready for the TV show Grumpy Old Women - in which celebrity ladies of a certain age ventilate their pet grievances. First she was grumpy about failures of punctuation in Eats, Shoots & Leaves, and now she is being grumpy about modern manners - or lack of them. Fortunately, her grumpiness is served up with generous helpings of witty exposition, well dramatised anecdote, and self-deprecating humour. She rails against people who don't say 'Thank you' when you hold open a door for them - but goes further by analysing the reasons for our social expectations and our reactions to them when thwarted. The same is true for people who let their children run amok in other people's houses - and are affronted if you don't share share their self-indulgent view of them. Fortunately, her own expectations in righting these situations are self-limited:

This book has quite a modest double aim: first, to mourn, without much mature perspective or academic rigour, the apparent collapse of civility in all areas of our dealings with strangers; then to locate a tiny flame of hope in the rubble and fan it madly with a big hat.
She's against being prescriptive or proscriptive, and has a basic position that can be summed up as "Remember you are with other people; show some consideration." Her chief bêtes noirs are (fairly predictably) automated telephone call services, shop assistants who don't pay attention, and most things to do with information technology ('There's a WEBSITE for people with INTERNET ADDICTION' [!])

Strangely enough, she is quite tolerant of people using mobile phones in public places and saying asinine things such as "I'm on the train. We're just leaving Euston/Manchester/Bristol". But I was glad to see that she secretly wished physical pain (as I do) to kids who skateboard or cycle on the pavement.

She's good at cataloguing the language of insolence and contempt in sloppy service expressions - as when the waiter plonks down your main course with "There you go" and when you say "Thank you" replies with "No problems".

She's at her weakest when she makes the case for respect, and takes the Armistice Day memorial service as an example which ought to tug at all of our emotional coat tails. But she has lost none of her skill for switching deftly into the persona of the person she's writing about - conjuring up their vocabulary and tone of voice with her well-attuned ear for speech and language patterns.

Of course what constitutes good manners changes with time. Nobody but a complete oaf would spit in public these days - yet I can remember when "No spitting" was a standard injunction on all public transport, even after the war. The second world war, that is.


Lynne Truss, Talk to the Hand, London: Profile Books, 2006, pp.240, ISBN 1861979797

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